3 Months in Guate and We Launched English Classes — I love Jesus, but I cuss a little.

We launched the English classes! How exciting and rewarding that has been. We did have a very stark realization after the first class we had that our content was too advanced and we needed to get back to the curriculum writing and create some new lesson plans on the fly. The good news, we didn’t lose anything. We are pleased to be able to use the work we’ve already done to help with our next module. It’s been incredibly rewarding to watch these students work hard, do their time practicing at home, and open up to us more in class. We are laughing and each day I spend in Bola feels more like I’m in a good place.

I’ve been here 3 months! Can you believe it?! I am a little homesick. Not particularly for life how I had in Virginia, but I am desperate for options of things to do. I am starting to realize, unless you’re up to always exploring, there aren’t many other activities to do with others but eat. Now mind you, the food is delicious, but I think I will be happier when my car gets here. I did buy one, but it’s coming from the states and with current border issues and customs it’s going to be another month before it gets here. I will ask for prayer that by some miracle it gets here before May. We have a number of visitors that month and the ministry is counting on my car for helping transport people. So, please pray!

Winston is doing better. We have at least found a system where a young girl in my complex comes and sits with him until 3 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. She leaves him and he’s quiet and calm when I get home. I am grateful we’ve found some balance. I’m pretty homesick for America. Not sure what for exactly? I think the freedom to go to NOVA and visit my people, or walking around Target. I miss those things. The Covid numbers are the highest they have been here and so they instituted new regulations and everything closes at 6 now.

This week we start house visits. We plan to visit a family or two in Bola each week; this is important as it will build relationships. The ministry is very focused on not being a hand out ministry. It is about building community and it’s wonderful because it very much mirrors the work I’ve done in Russia with the ministry center through Orphan’s Tree. It’s what attracted me to working with This is Vida. Isn’t it interesting how God wastes nothing?

I’m grateful for many things though. I’m grateful for this opportunity, even though it is a very challenging experience. Even in writing this update, I write my initial drafts and then take a walk. Today, I walked to the Bodegona (the market here to shop) to pick up a few things for dinner tonight. I walked back, stopped for a mango from the stand by my house, and now am back working on this update. It’s a blessing to go for a walk to get my errands done. This week in my small group we answered the question, “do you feel served?” It was in context to something we are learning about thankfulness and gratitude and how that directly brings us into communion with Jesus. I shared how I did feel served in this season. I think about how this update goes out to over 50 people who want to know about what’s happening here and there are more than that financially investing in what God is doing in my life. I’m very aware there is a fleet of people following along in this journey, cheering me on, praying for me in the background, and that moves me deeply. When I told the girls about it that night I wept a little as I shared. It’s a deeply moving thing to have people invest so much into your life.

I’m grateful that since my last update 17 days ago I can feel the Holy Spirit moving my perspective, allowing me to ask my hard questions, giving me grace when I continue to attempt to do this on my own, and graciously bringing me peace as I repent and surrender. He is so good. I think part of what I’m warring against is this idea of what and who I wanted Jesus to be and mean in my life. I want the glory without the grit, but the truth is, in dying to myself, I am learning that we are made for His glory. He moves in and through my life to bring Himself glory through me. Not to bring glory to me through Him. And honestly, it’s been a tough pill to swallow because instead of surrendering myself to Him I sit and stare back in a stalemate gaze with my arms crossed, as if He owes me something more than the blood He shed for me.

He’s so patient with me, He is here and wants to show me something and change something in and through me. I just don’t know what. I do know He’s worth it, every stubborn moment I want to hold onto something instead of letting His grace and mercy flow through my hands...I said I didn’t want to go back the same way I came. I think I’m finally getting to the place where I’m willing to let Him really change me. I’m not the best at putting my money where my mouth is...takes me a while to recognize that I can’t keep doing the same life I’ve been doing and get different results. It was the same when I started getting healthy, it didn’t have marked results until I really changed my life. He’s asking for everything we have when we say yes to Him. All our stubborn longing to stay the same but be changed, all our surrendered brokenness, all our wins and loses, everything thought, offense, flattery, victory, exploration, and more He wants to do it with us and I say I want that but I struggle to invite Him in.

View from the cross overlooking Antigua.

That’s where I’m at. I’m working to invite Him in more, to release my fears of what could be, what is, and what was. Being willing to notice that my life is in a safe place and I can choose to trust Him. Selling out all to Jesus is just that a complete sell out, an emptying of self that I’m still very far from achieving, but I’m learning to be grateful in the middle of it and being honest with where I’m at and trusting the grace that is overflowing.

Good reports! I am so close to being fully funded. I’m praying for 2 monthly donors at $250, 3 monthly donors at $100, and 4 at $50 but there are many people who have joined in for all different amounts. Appreciate the prayers to get there and to those who have already partnered with me in this goal. It’s amazing what you can do with others!

Have another visitor coming in two weeks. She came with me on my first trip to Guatemala and we haven’t seen each other since that trip three years ago. I’m excited to host her and have her get her come to Bola and explore the city a little bit.

Lastly, this is a long update, but thank you. Thank you for being part of my tribe of people who are getting me through. I seriously need you, it’s crazy what we can do in life if we ask people to go with us. I’m deeply grateful for the wonderful witness to my life, you give my life so much meaning in that witness. You are loved.