Updates from Guate — I love Jesus, but I cuss a little.

A month has passed and it feels like five minutes! It’s been a whirlwind of things and I’m so grateful that things are moving along, but there are also some sad things to share. I’ll do my best. I’d really like to put this off until I “feel” better, but then I’ll be in the States and then who knows what we will have missed?

Firstly, I need to share that the CDC has placed an embargo on dogs coming into the States beginning on July 14 from many countries and Guatemala was on the list. This doesn’t mean I can’t bring a dog back as a returning US citizen, but it’s a 6 week approval process that’s not guaranteed and you have to bring the dog through an entry point, which is NYC. There are no flights from Guate to NYC directly to get Winston in. So, sadly next week when I come home I’ll be bringing Winston back too, permanently. I am exceedingly grateful for the timing, because I can bring him back with me personally. It’s a lot more to get him out than I realized in bringing him down here so it’s been a scramble and a small fortune, but he will be happily cared for with some very close family-like friends who have young children, who have known Winston their entire lives. He also has a lot of reactions, like I do, to the environment and things down here and the adjustment has been hard on him. I know this will probably be better. It’s just hard when the decision is made for you.

I facilitate a small community group of ladies online and we recently read Ann VosKamp’s book One Thousand Gifts, where she took us through a journey of finding communion in Christ in the everyday...especially how to engage that communion in the dark moments of life. I’m grateful for the timing of that book too because it helped us coin a phrase, “All is grace.” And it is. I know God works in the background of things, I know there are more and more things coming and I am choosing to focus on the freedom it will bring to have Winston cared for so well in a season of high adventure, I seem to be in. I will ask that you pray for me, this is deeply painful. It’s a surrender, to again, let God have it all. I live with a loneliness that rests in a hope that there is more coming and God has a partner for me and a full community to fill my home with, but I think I have always thought, “well, at least I still have Winston.” And now, I’m humbled again and will rest in the waiting knowing He wastes nothing and all is grace. But again, please pray for me and the entire process. The next 9 days until we are back on US soil holds within it a lot of stress and preparation. I need covering for circumstances as much as for the fortitude of my heart and mind.

Ok, let’s share some fun things. Had another guest come and she lavished me by treating us to two days at the beach a couple of weekends ago and it was my first road trip in my car! I did it! It was so swanky and I was so grateful she took us. Check out the pool! You can’t really swim in the ocean here unless you surf because the undertow is like nothing I’ve ever experienced.

This friend brought down some items and I was able to cook chili and cornbread for Josefina and her family. She had never had it before and she cooks all the time for me. So, I wanted to try. They all said they liked it, but they could just be being polite. Either way, I’m grateful I was able to do it. Last week, Josefina’s youngest daughter, Joselin, came home with me for a sleepover. We watched movies, painted our nails, and ordered dinner in. She chose Taco Bell...so Taco Bell it was! I learned something interesting though, too many choices overwhelmed her. Handing her the remote or the phone with Uber eats and saying, “Choose” was a lot for her. I also learned that it was her very first time sleeping away from home without a family member. It was her very first solo outing. I’m going to do it again, and next time take her to a restaurant and walk around Antigua. It was awesome!

I will be home next week for about a week. It’s exciting and a little scary to be honest. I know it will be overwhelming in some cases and a little heart wrenching in others. I also know it will be wonderful. I have many plans already booked and am looking forward to all the things. If you haven’t seen or been made aware, I will be at Farmhouse Brewery on Kempsville Rd a week from Saturday on 7/3 at 5pm until no one is there to see me anymore. I figured that would be a great way to see as many as possible. Please come by if you are free and can.

Finally learning how to bake in high altitude, in celcius, and with gas!

Thank you for being a part of my community. I need it, I feel the prayers, the support, and know that I have a fleet of people who are cheering me on to what God is doing in and through my life. I am grateful for people who don’t even need to be kept up with, they just believe in this thing and I can’t get over the invitations to continue to step out to the edge to what the Father has. It’s not easy, but somehow He’s so sweet to me and still so worth it. Jesus is worth every cost, I just wish I gave the surrender less begrudgingly or without sobbing as much as I do. I just imagine myself standing facing Christ as He’s hanging on the cross and not once as I’ve stared into His agony He endured for me and heard Him say, “Hey, I hung on this cross for you!!! And this is the best I get?!” So, how can I possibly say that to Him in response to my circumstances? And somewhere down the road there will be a moment when someone else is having to count the cost of the meaning of that cross in their own lives and I’ll be able to say, “Do it, He won’t fail you.” It’s just so much more glamorous when I was younger and making these promises of commitment...So for now, I’ve been sitting closely at His feet and seeking just being with Him, because at the end of the day I asked to be undone by who Christ is and if I need to release all of me to get all of Him, then I will sit and seek.

I’m praying for you, that this story that’s not so exciting will still spur you in your own journey of surrender and strengthen resolve in His goodness and the good things He's put in each of us to do. I believe in the good amidst the sadness and that is where I tend to find joy.