Cats, Hamsters, Butterflies, and Quarantine

Well, now that the cat’s out of the bag, Guatemala became very real, very quickly last week. It was exciting to tell the world, but then it meant that I was moving to another country. As if my plane ticket and AirBnB reservation weren’t “real” enough. This week I had a lot of conversations with Angela, with This is Vida. It dawned on us that I would probably need to quarantine for two weeks upon my arrival in the country. They will get my groceries and leave them at the AirBnB and I will spend my first two weeks hanging out in my room. Guys, that’s 14 days all by myself. Real talk, I’ve NEVER spent two solid weeks alone in my entire life. I’m an extrovert, I hate being in the house alone too long, let alone being INSIDE THE SAME SPACE FOR 14 DAYS! Even on sick days, I typically need to at least drive to the 7-11 just to get out of the house for a few minutes. 

My initial internal reaction was dramatically, maybe I shouldn’t go after all? But then I thought, what in the world would I do instead?! The other downside of this is an additional two weeks in an AirBnB is nearly the equivalent of a month’s rent. I got over both of those circumstances, but still was tied up in thoughts of leaving. I had told the world now but not my boss. So I had to work that out too. I think the hardest part of this transition in letting the life changes Covid has brought carry over in all areas of my life and not being frustrated at its impact. I didn’t expect Covid to still be impacting my transition in September when I was making plans in March. I didn't think that I would have to consider sitting in an AirBnB with Winston for two weeks until I could get started in establishing my life in a new country. It also eliminated my hope of someone coming with me for the first two weeks to help with the transition. 

There are many things I could be distracted with in this season of transition. It truly is a challenging time, exciting for sure, but challenging. I’ve cried a lot, I have butterflies in my belly when I think about leaving, I feel isolated from people in a unique way and I get scared that I will be so lonely that I find myself striving in things now out of anticipation of that fear. I’m trying to learn not to let those things get in my way, I can run on these hamster wheels of fear and uncertainty or I can sit down, take a deep breath, and rest. Sometimes, I spend so much time trying to make something happen for myself that I make matters more frustrating for myself. I can’t control a virus, I can’t make the president open up borders, I can’t avoid sitting in a room for two weeks, but I can control how I approach each of these circumstances. I can trust the plan that was put into motion two years ago when I looked at my friend and said, “Let’s go on one of these trips,” is still moving forward, still on time, and still perfectly laid out to accomplish all it was supposed to. 

The beauty I’m seeing in inviting my world into all of this is the support from others; the expressed connection and support to the adventure. So many times in my life people would say they just didn’t understand my life choices - how I had such wanderlust, but this time, this life choice has been met with resounding excitement and support. It is as if this one just clicks for people and it makes sense to them. Not that I need my life to “make sense” to anyone, but to have the people in your world resound with you is nice. It encourages and reminds me community is important, they spur us on and those that don’t...just let those go.